What does gay cows eat?
Did you hear about the gay midget?
He just came out of the cupboard!
The plane's cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who was just as obviously enjoying himself.
He came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super.'
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a woman hadn't moved a muscle.
'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines.
I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'
She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess.
I take orders from no one.'
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, 'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
Put the tray up, Bitch!'
An old rancher died, leaving everything to his wife.
Needing help, she decided to advertise for a ranch hand.
Only two men applied.
One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought about it and hired the gay guy, figuring it would be safer having him around.
He proved to be a hard worker.
To reward him for his good work she let him have the night off to go into town for some fun.
Later that night he returned to the ranch house and he saw the woman standing beside the fireplace, with a glass of wine in her hand.
She called him over.
'Unbutton my Blouse and take it off,'
Trembling, he did so.
'Now take of my boots.'
'Now my socks.'
The hired man complied.
'Now take off my skirt.'
He unzipped it.
'Now take off my bra.'
He did as he was told.
'Now take off my panties.'
He slowly pulled them down.
She fixed him with a determined glaze and said 'If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.'
What do you call a gay guy on an airplane?
A fruit fly.
If you say It is hard to keep a tractor strait as it is keeping a gay strait.