Gender Jokes
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Gender Jokes

This page contains 10 Gender Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Gender Jokes first.

Any argument that a man and woman are involved in, the woman gets the last word.
Anything a man says afterwards is the beginning of a new argument.

What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish!

Why do women talk more than men, and why are men smarter than women?
Because women have four lips and men have two heads!

Why Men Are Happier Than Women!

1. We keep our last name.
2. The garage is all ours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. We can be president.
6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
8. The world is our urinal.
9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
10. Same work, more pay.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. Wedding dress - $5000 tux rental - $100.
13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
16. One mood, ALL the time.
17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
18. We know stuff about tanks.
19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
20. We can open all our own jars.
21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
24. Everything on our face stays its original color.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
27. We almost never have strap problems in public.
28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
30. We don't have to shave below our neck.
31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
33. We can 'do' our nails with a pocket-knife.
34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

Why do men take showers instead of baths?
Pissing in the bath is disgusting.

If a man says something in the woods and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?

Hallo daar test EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts SOCIABLE: Joins friends in pissing whether he has to or not CROSS-EYED: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed TIMID: Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal and comes back later INDIFFERENT: If all urinals being used, pisses in sink CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and pisses on floor WORRIED: Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down and across urinal, tries to hit fly or bug ABSENT MINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants CHILDISH: Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble TOUGH: Bangs penis on side of urinal to dry it PATIENT: Stands very close for a long time waiting, lets it drip dry, reads with other hand EFFICIENT: Waits until he has to crap, then does both DRUNK: Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants DISGRUNTED: Stands for a while, gives up, walks away CONCEITED: Holds two inch penis like a baseball bat DESPERATE: Waits in long line, teeth clenched, pisses in pants SNEAK: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will get blamed

A woman's personality based on what she drinks.
Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance;
down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying;
a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste;
knows what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her.
She'll send YOU a drink.
Wine - (does not include White Zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years...Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.
White Zin Personality: Easy;
thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue.
Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...
Shots Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk ...
and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint.
Nothing to do but wait.
Additional Note: If she likes salt on the rim of her Margarita, she swallows.




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