Jokes For Kids
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Jokes For Kids

This page contains 10 Jokes For Kids. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Jokes For Kids first.

A stranger was seated next to a little 5th grade girl on an airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk.
I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'
'Oh, I don't know', said the stranger.
'How about nuclear power?'
'OK', she said.
'That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first: A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass -- the same stuff Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.
Why do you suppose that is?'
The stranger thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'
To which the little girl replies: 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?'


What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water?
A soggy butt.


A cop pulls over a guy.
'Your eyes are awfully red.
Have you been drinking?'
'Gee, officer,'
the man says.
'Your eyes are awfully glazed -- have you been eating doughnuts?'


Did you see that?
Two guys are out hunting deer.
The first guy says, 'Did you see that?'
'No,' the second guy says.
'Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead,' the first guy says.
'Oh,' says the second guy.
A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, 'Did you see that?'
'See what?' the second guy asks.
'Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there.'
'Oh.'
A few minutes later the first guy says: 'Did you see that?'
By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, 'Yes, I did!'
And the first guy says: 'Then why did you step in it?'


There was once a small snail who always dreamed of becoming a race-car driver.
One day he heard that an uncle of his had died and left him some money!
Now his dream could be realized!
He bought himself a car, souped it up, and then painted a large red 'S'
on it.
When he was at his first race, a friend of his asked him why he had painted the big red 'S'
on the car?
Simple, the snail replied;
when people see my car go zooming down the, track I want them all to exclaim: Oh look!
See the S car go!!


A blind man walks in to a department store with his seeing eye dog on a leash.
As usual the store manager behind the customer service counter looks up, notices the customer is blind, and not wanting to stare quickly looks away again.
Out of the corner of his eye the manager sees the blind man start swinging the dog over his head with its leash.
Shocked, the manager runs over and says, 'Mister is there a problem - is there anything I can help you with?'
The blind man calmly replies 'No thanks - I'm just looking around.'


The Seven Dwarfs were sitting in a tub feeling happy.
So Happy got up and left.


(_!_) a regular ass.
(__!__) a fat ass.
(!) a tight ass.
(_._) a flat ass.
(_^_) a bubble ass.
(_*_) a sore ass.
(_!__) a lop-sided ass.
{_!_} a Swishy ass.
(_o_) an ass that's been around.
(_O_) an ass that's been around even more.
(_x_) kiss my ass.
(_X_) leave my ass alone.
(_zzz_) a tired ass.
(_o^o_) a wise ass.
(_13_) an unlucky ass.
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass.
(_?_) Dumb Ass!


The Chief Executive of an HMO died and was very relieved that he got into heaven.
Of course, he had to check out after 48 hours.


A jumbo-sized freshman went to try out for the football team.
The coach asked him if he could tackle and he said, 'Hell yah, get a load of this!'
And with that knocked over a telephone pole as if it were made of balsa wood.
The coach was dumbfounded and asked if the boy could run, to which the boy replied, 'Hell yah!'
and he sprinted from endzone to endzone like lightning.
The coach stood there with his mouth agape to see such a huge boy run so fast.
He finally composed himself and said, 'But can you pass a football?'
The freshman stopped to think for a few seconds, then said, 'Hell yah, if I can swallow it, I can surely pass it!'





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