Lawyers Jokes
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Lawyers Jokes

This page contains 10 Lawyers Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Lawyers Jokes first.

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What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats?
A total waste of space!

What is the definition 'lucky break?'
When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
What is the definition of a 'crying shame'?
There was an empty seat.

A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, 'All lawyers are assholes!'
He looks around, obviously hoping for a challenge.
Finally a guy comes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, 'Take that back.'
The biker says, 'Why? Are you a lawyer?'
'No, I'm an asshole.'

Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
If one side has one, the other side has to get one.
Once launched, they cannot be recalled.
When they land, they screw up everything forever.

What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being!

What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats?
A total waste of space!

A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study.
He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store.
He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.
'How much does it cost for engineer brain?'
'Three dollars an ounce.'
'How much does it cost for programmer brain?'
'Four dollars an ounce.'
'How much for lawyer brain?'
'$1,000 an ounce.'
'Why is lawyer brain so much more?'
'Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?'

What is the differece between a lawyer and a protitute?
The Prostitute will stop screwing you after your dead.

What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?
Your honor!

Hammer time A judge working a double homicide case tells the defendant,'
You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.'
'You bastard.'
yells a voice form the back of the courtroom.
'Your also charged with beating your mother in law with a hammer.'
says the judge.
the same person yells.
The judge addresses the man sitting at the back of the courtroom, 'Sire, one more outburst and I'll charge you with contempt.'
'I'm sorry your honor,'
Says the man, '
But I've been this bastards neighbor for ten years and every time I ask to borrow a hammer he said he didn't have one.'


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