What travels at 200km's a hour? A black man hearing a dollar drop to the ground.
I couldn't join the KKK if I wanted to, my bloodline isn't pure enough. Turns out my parents weren't even related.
Couple beside me in restaurant are on a blind date; they both love dogs, sushi, and looking at Tinder while the other one is in the restroom.
Hot single grannies in your area want you to look at how tall you've gotten.
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said "concentrate"!
Everyone my age is older than me...
Why can't women read maps? Only the male mind can comprehend the concept of one inch equaling a mile.
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work.