What's the difference between an Aussie and a Yoghurt? A Yoghurt's got culture!
Intimacy is selfish: into me see.
Are you from Pennsylvania cause I want to stick my pen in your sylvania
Never trust a dog to watch your food.
One day you will meet someone so amazing in every way who will want absolutely nothing to do with you.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass? A mechanic!
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I often confuse reptiles and amphibians. Actually, if I'm being brutally honest, they pretty much never know what I'm talking about.
It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
Suicide: Mans way of telling God - "You can't fire me, I quit".