HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPS LOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE MAD BECAUSE THEY THINK I AM SHOUTING AT THEM OVER INTERNET. PLEASE HELP!!!
Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
Today a fortune cookie told me that every exit is an entrance. Long story short, my girlfriend said no.
Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
How is education going to make me smarter?
Stress is caused by giving a fuck.
Where the woman's neck ends the infinity begins.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
I once dated a girl with a twin. People asked me how I could tell them apart. It was simple, Jill painted her nails purple and Bob had a cock.
I made voodoo dolls of my dogs just so I could still rub their bellies while I'm at work.