I might only be 25% Irish, but on St Patrick Days I will be 100% drunk.
Hi, welcome to dating. These are your two options: 1. Stay together forever 2. Break up No pressure.
Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha.
I need to start paying closer attention to stuff. Found out today my wife and I have separate names for the cat.
A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
Why do men name their penises? Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions.
After (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF!
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.