A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.'
Feminism is not a fad. It's not like Angry Birds. Although it does involve a lot of Angry Birds. Bad example.
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
Just realized a pregnant dog is a dog full of puppies. That's the best.
To see a man's true face, look to the photos he hasn't posted.
About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear? Data transfer.
Babe, your cuter than a puppy at an animal shelter, Cuz i want to take you home!
My wife gave birth 4 times and still fits in her prom dress from high school. I gave birth 0 times and I don't fit in my pants from March.