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Redneck Jokes

This page contains 10 Redneck Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Redneck Jokes first.

You might be a redneck if you think 'wind sprints'
means running from a fart.

What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.

A Tough Jury To Convince
A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair.
His brother found out that a red neck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe.
He told the red neck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the red neck's house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.
The red neck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter.
They all wanted to let him go.

You might be a redneck If you learned to drive In a monster truck!

If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?
Three.
One to eat it, and two to watch for cars!

You might be redneck if your house has more miles on it than your car!

What do you call 32 West Virginian women in one room?
A full set of teeth.

One day, in a small town in the middle of no-where, a redneck wearing nothing but jeans and suspenders was pumping gas into his pinto at the local gas station.
To his surprise, a rich man in a Ferrari pulled up next to him to pump gas into his $600,000 car.
As the rich man was pumping gas he looked over at the bewildered redneck.
Noticing the admiration on his face the rich man asked, in a cocky tone, 'What, you wanna race farm boy?'
Not one to back down to a challenge the redneck replied in a defiant tone, 'I sure do city boy!'
Shortly after that, the two men had there cars lined up on a super long stretch of straight road.
The two men were standing in between the two cars discussing how to insure a fair start.
They finally concluded that the rich man would hold up 3 fingers and do a count down.
When the last finger dropped they would go for it.
So the rich man opened his door and stepped into his car, then the redneck walked around to the door of his car and climbed in.
The rich man started the count down and when the last finger fell they took off.
The rich man decided to toy with the redneck and only shift up to second gear, but by the time he got to full speed in second gear the pinto was just a dot in his rear view mirror.
'What a waste of time.'
the rich man thought.
Suddenly, RRRRROOOOOOMMMMMM!
The pinto went roaring by.
'Whoa!'
the rich man said.
So then he shifted up into 3rd then 4th gear to still give the redneck a sporting chance.
Once again the pinto became a dot in his rear view mirror.
RRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!
To the rich man's surprise the pinto went flying by again!
'FINE!'
The rich man shouted.
So then he went all out, shifting up into 6th gear and putting the pedal to the floor.
By now the Ferrari was doing about 210 Mph.
The Ferrari blew by the pinto and once again the pinto became a tiny speck in his rear view.
RRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!
The pinto blew by him again, practically blowing the Ferrari's doors off.
Having been beaten by the pinto the rich man pulled over to the side of the road and stopped.
In a rage he got out and slammed his door as the redneck backed up next to his car.
'WHAT KIND OF MOTOR DO YOU HAVE IN THAT PINTO!'
Shouted the rich man.
The redneck climbed out of his Pinto shaking like a nervous Chihuahua and replied, 'I have no idea, BUT I GOT MY SUSPENDERS CAUGHT IN YOUR DOOR!'

Two rednecks meet on a dusty country road.
One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, 'chickens.'
'Chickens, eh?'
says one guy.
'Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?'
'Heck,'
says the guy with the bag, 'if you guess right, I'll give you both of 'em.'
The other scratches his head and guesses, 'Um...
five?'

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