Relationship Jokes
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Relationship Jokes

This page contains 10 Relationship Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Relationship Jokes first.

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE: 1.
It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2.
It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3.
It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4.
It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5.
It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

Costume Mix Up A couple was getting ready to go to a Halloween party but the wife had a terrible headache.
She told her husband to go anyway.
After a short argument he agreed, and she took some aspirin and went to bed.
Later she awoke and felt great, so she decided to go to the party and see what her hubby did when she wasn't around.
As soon as she arrived, she noticed him on the dance floor getting very friendly with every hottie in the place, and groping them when he could.
She then cut in and rubbed close to him.
When the song ended, he leaned over and whispered in her ear, 'Let's go outside.'
So the two costumed characters snuck off and occupied themselves in one of the parked cars.
Midnight was to be the unveiling of the party-goers, so she slipped out and went home before the clock struck twelve.
When he got home she asked, 'How was the party?
Did you meet any interesting people?'
He replied, 'You know me, dear.
I don't have a good time when you're not with me.
I ran into a few friends and we ended up in the basement playing poker.
It wasn't very fun at all.
But the guy I loaned my costume to told me he had the time of his life!'

I love every bone in your body, especially mine!

American Airlines recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips.
Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.
Letters are still pouring in asking, 'What trip?'

A Chinese couple had a new baby.
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, black baby boy.
'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents.
'What will you name the baby?'
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, 'I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong.'

Airplane
A farmer and his wife went to a fair.
The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.
'$10 for 3 minutes,' replied the pilot.
'That's too much,' said the farmer.
The pilot thought for a second and then said, 'I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free.
But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10.'
The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride.
After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, 'I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man.'
'Maybe so,' said the farmer, 'But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out.'

A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening.
She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.
He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure.
Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him.
He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts, and the woman yells, 'Spot, get down from there.'
The guy thinks, 'Great, they think the dog did it.'
He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
This goes on for a couple more farts.
Finally the woman yells, 'Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you.'

A plane crashes flying over the Pacific and somehow three people survive.
Dave, Brad, and Naomi.
They manage to make their way to a tiny island with enough resources to live and eat.
After a few years of this nature inevitably took its course (in the spirit of procreation of course) and life went on as normal, after another few years Naomi spoke to the guys and said, 'I can't stand this anymore, the guilt is too much, I'm going to kill myself'
And did so, much to the annoyance of the guys.
Another couple of years went by and again nature took its course, after a while Dave said to Brad, 'I can't stand this anymore, the guilt is too much'
'So what you gonna do?'
inquired Dave.
'I think I'll just bury her dude!'

A man and a woman are driving down the same road at the same time.
As they pass each other the woman leans out the window, points and yells, 'PIG!
'
The man immediately leans out his window, shakes his fist and shouts back, 'WITCH!'
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he slams into a pig that had wandered into the middle of the road.
If only men would listen.

A chinese couple had just married.
When they got to their hotel room both knew what was next.
The woman quietly went into the bathroom and started undressing while the man undressed and lay naked under the covers.
The women came out and bashfully got into bed with him and explain, 'I have never done dees before.'
The man, not wanting to look unexperienced infront of his wife, said to her, 'Eets ok.
I give you any ting you want...'
The woman replied with, 'Well, I alway hear about numba sixty nine.
I want to try dat.'
The man stared at his wife for a while before replying with, 'You want chinkin and broccoli?'




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