Relationship Jokes
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Relationship Jokes

This page contains 10 Relationship Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Relationship Jokes first.

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man.
So, he hired a famous chinese detective, Mr.
Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report any activities that might develop.
A few days later, he recieved this report: Most honorable sir: You leave house.
He come house.
I watch.
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she get on train.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel.
I climb tree-look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip she.
She strip he.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
Fall out of tree, not see.


'Oh John, do you remember, the last time we were up here was 25 years ago and we made love for the very first time near an old disused barn.
I wonder if we could find it again.'
'I shouldn't think it'd be here after all this time.'
he said, 'but we'll go and have a look.'
Suprisingly enough, the barn was still there.
'Look Doreen, I sat you on that fence over there and we made love, let's do it again.'
She agreed and he sat her on the fence and began the business.
Doreen went completely wild, thrashing her arms in the air and waving her feet around.
'Wow, Doreen, you didn't do that last time.'
'I know'
she stammered, 'but it wasn't electrified then.'


Young boy said to his father, 'You c dad i- really wanna marry.'.
Father, 'Whom actually ya wanna have ma son?'
Boy: 'Yo mother at least.'
Father, 'How dare u say dat u stupid bastard!
Ma mother to marry damn you?'
Boy, 'Ah go to hell dad!
Since u too is married to ma mother i gotta marry yo mother as well.'


A man worked hard all day digging the garden and felt very stiff and sore.
His wife fluttered about him, pleased with the amount of work he had done and anxious to get him to do some more.
'Have a nice soak in the bath and I'll bring you a drink,'
she suggested smiling.
'Good idea,'
says the husband looking forward to being waited on.
He's in the bath when she comes in with a nice glass of Scotch which he accepts happily.
'If there's anything else you'd like just call,'
says the wife as she leaves the bathroom.
When she got halfway along the landing the husband relaxes completely and lets off an enormous long fart in the bath.
A few minutes later, despite it being a very warm Summer's evening, the wife comes in with a fluffy bed warmer 'What the heck is that for?'
asks the husband snappily.
'Oh Darling,'
says the wife, flustered, 'I thought I heard you say, 'Whataboutahottawaterbottle.'


'If you could cook,' said the husband, 'we could fire the chef.'
'If you could screw,'
replied the wife, 'we could fire the driver.'


Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna.
Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun.
But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son!


A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man.
So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vice.
He secured it tightly and removed the handle.
Then he picked up a hacksaw.
The man, terrified, screamed, 'Stop!
Stop!
You're not going to cut it off, are you?!?'
The husband said, with a horrible gleam of revenge in his eye, 'Nope.
You are.
I'm going to set the garage on fire.'


Minnie tells Mickey she wants a divorce..
Mickey says: 'Are you fucking crazy!'
Minnie says: 'No, I'm fucking Goofy...'


Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?


A couple had been married for many years, and their son had gotten old enough to date.
One day the boy brought a girl over to diner.
The mother was thrilled with her son's choice and couldn't wait for the wedding.
However, the father was upset and, eventually, the boy asked, 'Dad, why don't you seem happy with her.
Mom likes her a lot.'
The father explained, 'No son, there's nothing wrong with the girl.
It's just that I cheated on your mother a long time ago, and the girl you've been dating is my daughter by that woman.'
So the boy dumped her and found himself another girl.
Again, he brought her home to the mother's delight, but the father again told him this girl was actually his half-sister.
The boy lost his temper and told his mother what his father had said.
Furious, the mother shouted, 'Don't listen to him, sweetheart!
He isn't even your father!'





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