So George is doing yet another photo op at an elementary school, and this one’s been going pretty well, so he offers to take questions. A little boy raises his hand. "Okay, you," says George, smiling. "What’s your name?" "Billy." "Billy. And what’s your question?" "I have three questions," Billy says. "First, why did you go to war without UN approval? Second, why are you president when Gore got more votes? Third, where’s Osama bin Laden?" George is taken aback. "Uh, those are really hard questions," he says. Just then the bell rings. "Whoops, time for recess!" George says. "Guess I’ll have to answer your questions when recess is over." After recess, when the kids have settled back down again, George says "Okay, who’s got a question?" A little kid raises his hand, and George calls on him. "What’s your name?" George asks. "Steve." "Okay, Steve. What’s your question?" "I have five questions," Steve says. "First, why did you go to war without UN approval? Second, why are you president when Gore got more votes? Third, where’s Osama bin Laden? Fourth, why did the bell for recess ring twenty minutes early? And fifth, what happened to Billy?"
For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?" Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
A teacher is preparing her class for a big exam tomorrow and she says "I will not except any excuses for skipping tomorrows exam." Except when a close relative dies or you break two limbs and are in Hospital..." A few more terrible things that can happen to a person are said. After the teacher has finished speaking the class clown puts up his hand and says "Miss, what happens if we give you the excuse that we are sexually exhausted?" After some sniggering the teacher replies "Well if suppose you will just have to use your other hand to write with."
The teacher was checking her student roster on the first day of school and saw that she was missing three boys and one girl. After a couple of minutes went by, a boy named John walked in and the teacher asked where he was. He said, "Shree Hill." Then another student, named Bill, walked in and the teacher asked where he was. He also said, "Shree Hill." Then the third boy, Shawn, walked in and the teacher asked him where he had been. And he said, "On top of Shree Hill." Then, a girl walked in and the teacher asked, "Who are you?" And she said, "Shree Hill."
One fine day in the middle of class at school, a girl raised her asking to be excused, "Teacher, can I answer the call of nature?" Knowing what the kid wanted, the teacher said okay. Immediately, the girl ran to the toilet. But, within a minute, she was back. Another girl was shocked by how she could actually take care of business so quickly, and asked how she managed to do it so fact. The girl responded, "It was a prank call."
Three third graders were walking down the street: a redhead, brunette, and a blonde. Which one had the best figure? The blonde, she was 18!
The Differences In Graduates: A graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" A graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" A graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much it cost?" A graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Guess why the bog eyed teacher is getting sacked A. Because she cant control her pupils
A lecturer teaching medicine was giving a classroom observation. He took out a jar of yellow liquid. "This", he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant of color, smell, sight, and taste." After saying so, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched in amazement, most in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped their finger into the jar and put it into their mouths. After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my second finger into the jar and my third finger into my mouth."
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools