School Jokes
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School Jokes

This page contains 10 School Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best School Jokes first.

Thank You!

Sick Notes.
These are real notes written by parents in an Alabama school district.
Spellings have been left intact.
1.
My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today.
Please execute him.
2.
Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3.
Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan.
28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4.
Please excuse gloria from jim today.
She is administrating.
5.
Please excuse roland from p.e.
for a few days.
Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6.
John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7.
Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.
He was hurt in the growing part.
8.
Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9.
Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10.
Please excuse ray friday from school.
He has very loose vowels.
11.
Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday.
She had diahre dyrea direathethe shits.
12.
Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday.
He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13.
Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14.
Please excuse jimmy for being.
It was his father's fault.
15.
I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.
16.
Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday.
We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday.
We thought it was sunday.
17.
Sally won't be in school a week from friday.
We have to attend her funeral.
18.
My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired.
She spent a weekend with the marines.
19.
Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday.
He had a cold and could not breed well.
20.
Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday.
She was in bed with gramps.
21.
Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22.
Please excuse brenda.
She has been sick and under the doctor.
23.
Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach.
Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over.
I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever.
There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.


A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honor thy father and thy mother,'
she asked, 'is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family of seven) answered, 'thou shall not kill.'


It was the last day of school kids bring in candy stuff like that.
And theses couple bring in a leaky box so the teacher takes a lick'Is it wine'
no the kids say.ok I give up its a puppy miss.


Three third graders were walking down the street: a redhead, brunette, and a blonde.
Which one had the best figure?
The blonde, she was 18!


A group of students had a biology lab.
As a part of this lab they were supposed to scrape some bacteria off their teeth with a toothpick and then examine it under the microscope.
But this one girl had some problems identifying her bacteria and asked the professor what they were.
'Those are sperm cells.'


The teacher was checking her student roster on the first day of school and saw that she was missing three boys and one girl.
After a couple of minutes went by, a boy named John walked in and the teacher asked where he was.
He said, 'Shree Hill.'
Then another student, named Bill, walked in and the teacher asked where he was.
He also said, 'Shree Hill.'
Then the third boy, Shawn, walked in and the teacher asked him where he had been.
And he said, 'On top of Shree Hill.'
Then, a girl walked in and the teacher asked, 'Who are you?'
And she said, 'Shree Hill.'


A lecturer teaching medicine was giving a classroom observation.
He took out a jar of yellow liquid.
'This', he explained, 'is urine.
To be a doctor, you have to be observant of color, smell, sight, and taste.'
After saying so, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth.
His class watched in amazement, most in disgust.
But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped their finger into the jar and put it into their mouths.
After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head.
'If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my second finger into the jar and my third finger into my mouth.'


So George is doing yet another photo op at an elementary school, and this one's been going pretty well, so he offers to take questions.
A little boy raises his hand.
'Okay, you,'
says George, smiling.
'What's your name?'
'Billy.'
'Billy.
And what's your question?'
'I have three questions,'
Billy says.
'First, why did you go to war without UN approval?
Second, why are you president when Gore got more votes?
Third, where's Osama bin Laden?'
George is taken aback.
'Uh, those are really hard questions,'
he says.
Just then the bell rings.
'Whoops, time for recess!'
George says.
'Guess I'll have to answer your questions when recess is over.'
After recess, when the kids have settled back down again, George says 'Okay, who's got a question?'
A little kid raises his hand, and George calls on him.
'What's your name?'
George asks.
'Steve.'
'Okay, Steve.
What's your question?'
'I have five questions,'
Steve says.
'First, why did you go to war without UN approval?
Second, why are you president when Gore got more votes?
Third, where's Osama bin Laden?
Fourth, why did the bell for recess ring twenty minutes early?
And fifth, what happened to Billy?'


One day there was a boy who came home crying after school.
His father asked him why he was crying.
The boy responded, 'Everyone at school is making fun of me and my brother.'
His father said, 'Why?'
The boy said, 'Because of our names, why did you have to give us such bad names?'
The father responds, 'Because when your first brother was born I stepped out of the hut and saw two dogs shitting.
Why do u ask two dogs fucking?'





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