School Jokes

This page contains 10 School Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best School Jokes first.

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A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.
Boy: 'Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?'
Dad: 'Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights.'
Boy: 'So, why do they make packs of three?'
Dad: 'For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights.'
Boy: 'Then why do they make packs of 12?'
Dad: 'Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March.'

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honor thy father and thy mother,'
she asked, 'is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family of seven) answered, 'thou shall not kill.'

Three third graders were walking down the street: a redhead, brunette, and a blonde.
Which one had the best figure?
The blonde, she was 18!

It was the last day of school kids bring in candy stuff like that.
And theses couple bring in a leaky box so the teacher takes a lick'Is it wine'
no the kids say.ok I give up its a puppy miss.

A group of students had a biology lab.
As a part of this lab they were supposed to scrape some bacteria off their teeth with a toothpick and then examine it under the microscope.
But this one girl had some problems identifying her bacteria and asked the professor what they were.
'Those are sperm cells.'

A lecturer teaching medicine was giving a classroom observation.
He took out a jar of yellow liquid.
'This', he explained, 'is urine.
To be a doctor, you have to be observant of color, smell, sight, and taste.'
After saying so, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth.
His class watched in amazement, most in disgust.
But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped their finger into the jar and put it into their mouths.
After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head.
'If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my second finger into the jar and my third finger into my mouth.'

So George is doing yet another photo op at an elementary school, and this one's been going pretty well, so he offers to take questions.
A little boy raises his hand.
'Okay, you,'
says George, smiling.
'What's your name?'
'Billy.'
'Billy.
And what's your question?'
'I have three questions,'
Billy says.
'First, why did you go to war without UN approval?
Second, why are you president when Gore got more votes?
Third, where's Osama bin Laden?'
George is taken aback.
'Uh, those are really hard questions,'
he says.
Just then the bell rings.
'Whoops, time for recess!'
George says.
'Guess I'll have to answer your questions when recess is over.'
After recess, when the kids have settled back down again, George says 'Okay, who's got a question?'
A little kid raises his hand, and George calls on him.
'What's your name?'
George asks.
'Steve.'
'Okay, Steve.
What's your question?'
'I have five questions,'
Steve says.
'First, why did you go to war without UN approval?
Second, why are you president when Gore got more votes?
Third, where's Osama bin Laden?
Fourth, why did the bell for recess ring twenty minutes early?
And fifth, what happened to Billy?'

The teacher was checking her student roster on the first day of school and saw that she was missing three boys and one girl.
After a couple of minutes went by, a boy named John walked in and the teacher asked where he was.
He said, 'Shree Hill.'
Then another student, named Bill, walked in and the teacher asked where he was.
He also said, 'Shree Hill.'
Then the third boy, Shawn, walked in and the teacher asked him where he had been.
And he said, 'On top of Shree Hill.'
Then, a girl walked in and the teacher asked, 'Who are you?'
And she said, 'Shree Hill.'

One day there was a boy who came home crying after school.
His father asked him why he was crying.
The boy responded, 'Everyone at school is making fun of me and my brother.'
His father said, 'Why?'
The boy said, 'Because of our names, why did you have to give us such bad names?'
The father responds, 'Because when your first brother was born I stepped out of the hut and saw two dogs shitting.
Why do u ask two dogs fucking?'

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