Silly Jokes
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Silly Jokes

This page contains 10 Silly Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Silly Jokes first.

You think life is bad... How would you like to be an egg?
You only get laid once.
You only get eaten once.
It takes 4 minutes to get hard.
Only 2 minutes to get soft.
You share your box with 11 other guys.
But worst of all... The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother!

A woman is in line at the grocery store putting her groceries on the conveyor belt.
The rough looking man behind her is watching her do this.
She puts some bacon, some eggs and some milk down on the belt.
The man behind her says, 'You must be single.'
Confused, the woman looks at the man, then at her groceries, then back to the man and says, 'Well yes I am, but how did you know?'
The man replies, 'Cause your uglier n' sh1t.'

If I cut off my right butt-cheek, will I be left behind?

There was this hunk at a trade fair, flashing his big muscles and repeating, 'Ten tons of dynamite, ten tons of dynamite,'
while eyeing the females around.
One young lady was impressed and, with the intention of giving him a try, entered the tent with him.
She was out in a moment saying 'Huh, ten tons of dynamite, with half an inch of fuse?'

A young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume.
She turns to an old woman and says arrogantly, 'Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!'
Another young, beautiful woman gets onto the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume.
She arrogantly turns to the old woman and says, 'Chanel No.
5, $150 dollars an ounce!'
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator.
Before she leaves, she looks both of the women in the eyes, turns around, bends over, farts and says, 'Broccoli, 49 cents a pound!'

Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting.
They were quite successful in their venture and bagged six big bucks.
The pilot came back, as arranged, to pick them up.
They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk.
But the pilot objected and he said, 'The plane can only take four of your elk;
you will have to leave two behind.'
They argued with him;
the year before they had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard.
The plane was the same model and capacity.
Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted them to put all six aboard.
But when the attempted to take off and leave the valley, the little plane could not make it and they crashed into the wilderness.
Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the other, 'Do you know where we are?'
'I think so,'
replied the other hunter.
I think this is about the same place where we landed last year!'

A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend.
He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on.
While standing in the middle of the RR tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn't know what it was.
Predictably, he's hit and is thrown, ass-over-tea-kettle, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.
After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party.
While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling.
He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal.
His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man, 'Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?'
The desert man replies, 'Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small.'

Did you hear about the boy bubble who chased the girl bubble?
He wanted to see her bust!

My sister-in-law, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection.
As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, 'He doesn't like men.'
'Perfect,'
my sister-in-law thought and took the dog.
Then one day she was approached by two men in a parking lot, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react.
Soon it became clear the the trainer wasn't kidding.
As the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car.

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S.
of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'!




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