Funny Texts | 10 Sms Messages

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.

Every married man knows why they name hurricanes after women

Boredom was the other word for a safe and undisturbed life.

3 cowboys r sittin round a campfire,out on d lonesome prairie,each wit d bravado 4 which cowboys r famous.A nite of tall tales begins. D 1st says,"I must be d meanest,toughest cowboy ter is.Why,jus d othr day,a bull got loose in d corral n gored 6 men b4 I wrestled it wit my bare hands." D 2nd can't stand to b bested. "Why tat's nothin.I was walkin dwn d trail yestrdy n a 15 ft. rattler slid out frm under a rock.I grabbd tat snake,bit its head off,n sucked d poison dwn in 1 gulp.N I'm still here today." D 3rd cowboy remaind silent,slowly stirring the red hot coals wit his Penis...

bite me

The sun is glazing, upon the sunlight i see the path of our friendship shining brightly knowing that it is so great to have a friend like YOU! :)

Why do men exist ? Because dildos cannot mow the lawn.

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up.

Man finds his wife with his friend in bed.he shoot his friend and kill him. His wife says: if you behave like this,you will lose all your friends.

what goes in must come out

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More Sms Messages:


Roses are red poems are corny take me to bed because im feeling horny when roses are red they need to be plucked so next time i see you your gonna get fucked


10 advantages of not having a "LOVER".. 1.save time. 2.can sleep well. 3.Don't hav 2 bother abt missed calls.. 4.Don't hav to worry abt how u look.. 5.Can eat in any restaurant.. 6.No boring sms in the middle of night.. 7.Can talk with all gals.. 8.U won't hear "aaw.. U r dull today".. 9.Can go anywhere with any one.. 10.Don't hav 2 listen same old crap jokes.. BONUS:- U will live a long life.......so be aware of LOVER Keep.....................IN TOUCH WID ME.....OTHERWISE............................1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 ALL..........UR TEETH WILL B BROKEN!


SMILE: S: Sets u free, M: Makes u special, I: Increases ur face value, L: Lifts up ur spirits, E: Erases all ur tensions, So, please keep smiling.


You could park a bike on that bum


I only drink to make my wife look prettier


This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!


If you jogged backward ... would you gain weight?


Bud, what happen??? tried callin many time, everytime i get operator sayin 'Sorry, The Subscriber U R Calling is having Sex, Please try again later.'


Jack and jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, jack got high and dropped his fly and said jill you wanna? jill said yes and dropped her dress (then they had some hanky-panky) but fuckin jill forgot the pill and out popped little frankie


Confucious say Man have more hair on chest than woman - but on the whole woman have more.





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!
People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.