Funny Texts | 10 Sms Messages

Women admire a man because he is strong, but they love him for his weaknesses.

Constipated people don't give a crap

Ein Pessimist ist ein Optimist mit Erfahrung

When he was five years old, he wanted to become a lawyer. Now that he is a lawyer, he acts like a five-years old.

thE tEst oF fRiEndsHip dOseN't cOmeS wHen u R 2GethEr. It cOmEs wHeN u ParT waYs & u ReaLizE tHat dEsPitE tHe dIsTanCe, thE fRiEndshIp iS sTilL tHeRe...

Dear God, I will keep it brief otherwise they will steal my dinner. AMEN

My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...

If, out of time, I could pick one moment and keep it shining, always new, of all the days that I have lived, I'd pick the moment I met you.

Why did the good Lord give women thrush?..........To teach them how to live with an irritating twat before they actually marry one!

I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...

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More Sms Messages:


Hi - I am a virus and am entering your brain right now...wait, hold on, sorry unable to find brain...leaving now...


I always think of you, but I always fail to know the reason why. Is there something else I should know about you? But there is one thing that I know is true. That life will always be sad without you.


Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?


Life is hard, learn from the mistakes of others and not of your own mistakes !


Love stops being a joy when it stops being a secret.



Hey i was trying to call you but it said welome to the pigs farm voiemail the person your trying to call is a pig and cannot take ur call


Seven days without laughter makes one weak!!


I want 2 die peacefully in my sleep like my gr&f


Love based on beauty, dies along with the beauty.




One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No, those pants don't make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!