Funny Texts | 10 Sms Messages

I only drink to make my wife look prettier


While walking down the street, I heard an old man say "I've been in love with the same woman for almost 50 years now." I was touched until I heard him say "I wish she knew."


I love you even more than when I started this sentence.


Ein Pessimist ist ein Optimist mit Erfahrung


One out of four people is a Chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.


Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.


Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and lets play that game!


Newsflash: Police are looking for a suspect who's smart, sexy, witty and very gorgeous. They've already eliminated you from the list of suspects. Where do you think I should hide?


What happened 2 ur network? I tried 2 call u but the operator said "Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey u r trying to call is on the tree....Plz try later."


When he was five years old, he wanted to become a lawyer. Now that he is a lawyer, he acts like a five-years old.


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More Sms Messages:


A butterfly needs its wings ... an ice bear needs cold weather and I ... I need you!


Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?


I might be in the basement. I'll go upstairs and check.


When friendship is deeply rooted, it is a plant that cannot even be uprooted by a storm....


I once sniffed Coke, but the ice cubes blocked my nostrils...


Never exaggerate your faults, your friends will attend to that.


How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ................... .................... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*


3 REASONS Y CATS R BETTER DAN MEN 1)cats luv u wotever u look like 2)u can stroke a cat wivout it thinkin about sex 3)u dont mind wen ur cat chases after birds!


Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is..


Hey i was trying to call you but it said welome to the pigs farm voiemail the person your trying to call is a pig and cannot take ur call





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I had to do it only three times a week. This every-day thing is overkill.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Love is like a machine... sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.