Funny Texts | 10 Sms Messages

Santa (reading from book of facts) "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" BantAnswer: "Why don't u use a mouth wash?"

friendship is like peeing in your pants. every1 can c it but only u can feel its true warmth.thank u 4 being the pee in my pants xxxx

Love is blind, ladies' underwear is Braille

Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on!

When God opened the door of heaven, He saw me & asked what is ur wish 4 2day. I said lord plz take care of the1 reading this message.

Thinking of tomorrow brings tears to my eyes, coz tomorrow we might have to say good bye. But if tomorrow, it should be d end, d best memory I'd take wid me was d day you became my friend.Eric says so

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went it would be hell

positive thinking is a bit like this: a little bird in the sky u look up it shits in ur eyes, u dont mind u, dont cry, u just thank God that, cows dont fly!

Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart because hearts can be broken, but circles are never ending.

There was a lil girl who wanted a bike and begged god for one so she begged god for one and he wasnt listening so she went 2 church ans snuck the Mary(gods mother) statue into her bookbagso when she got home she wrote a letter 2 god saying" god u better give me a bike because I GOT UR MOTHER"

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More Sms Messages:


The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??


Everyday I see Lots of Strangers Passing By me, This makes me realized that, Life would be BORING, Without A person Like U...


My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.


An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.


why did the sperm cross the road? Because I am wearing the wrong socks


If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life


Tears in my eyes ......... Tears for you ...... Tears that realise how much I love you


I wanted to send you all my love but the postman said it was too big !!!!!


If you think any of these are funny, i swear you don't have any friends. Yeah, I'm good.


Being in love is when she looks at you and says: I would like to be a cannibal.





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!
People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.