Funny Texts | 10 Sms Messages

Hey, where on earth IS MY ROOF!


He said: ?I thank you for the wonderful talk." ... I had only been listening. When your youngest child needs sex education, you have badly informed your elder children on the subject.


Yes, this is my pickup. No, I will not help you move.


Do you know karate? Cos damn it honey, your body is really kickin.


In case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!


Only 17% of all traffic accidents was caused by drunk drivers, so the other 83% was caused by, yes you got it....the sober ones among us!!


Why do women have legs ? ...... Otherwise there will be traces of mucus on the kitchen floor.


Love is like war ... Easy to start ... Difficult to end ... Impossible to forget...


What is the diff between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of u & torture is thinking of u 2 much.


When we sigh about our problems, they grow D_O_U_B_L_E. But when we laugh about them... they become ? ? ? ? ? BuBBLes! Have a bubbly life


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More Sms Messages:


If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you need me, come to me... If you need money... ........... THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!


Laugh on your one and the world thinks you are an idiot.


Umm...your .... ZIP is open.


They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?


U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart, U may be out of my reach but not out of my mind.I may mean nothing to u but u will always be special to me!!


Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.


Being nuts or crazy is inheritable, you get it from your children


Love is wicked,but when love take u to bed,it feels good..ah..


Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.


Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I had to do it only three times a week. This every-day thing is overkill.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Love is like a machine... sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.