Funny Texts | 10 Sms Messages

how do you make a blonde laugh on friday? Tell them a joke on monday


one day a girl named arsehole sang "happy birthday to you you live in a fucking zoo you look like a peice of poo and you smell of a fucking bitch!"


Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back


I must have been born under a lucky star , to find a friend as nice as you are. I will follow the rainbow to the end , if you promise to remain my friend !!!


He's got a nose like a blind carpenter's thumb.


aravindhan


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Neither can balance a checkbook. Both put too much value on kissing. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.


My eyes were set on you...it was love at first sight...


A good movie can make you cry... so can onions


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More Sms Messages:


Hey, there is Hot-sex, Group-sex, safe-sex, phone-sex, speedy-sex, crazy-sex and for people wid ur face - NO SEX!


Life would be a lot easier if I had the source-code.


Important Message: Conserve your toilet paper - use both sides.


Once Upon a Time, Something happened to me. It was the sweetest thing that ever could be. It was a fantasy, a dream come true it was the day I met you.


What is a flower without the sun, what is the earth without the sky. What am I without you, that is why I tell you ? I love you


Women are like hurricanes! When they come they are wet and heavy. When they leave they take your home and your car ! !


If I were to make a dictionary: CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you; GOOD LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=me!


WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!


How many letters are in the Alphabet? Nineteen. Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him!


Why does a stupid blond girl never swim on her belly? ... When she feels something wet she turn on her back.





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I had to do it only three times a week. This every-day thing is overkill.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Love is like a machine... sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.