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Sms Messages

Dialogue between 2 undertakers. "Do you have sometimes a dead period?"
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A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskull to pay for this all.
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If you really resemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.
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I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
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Lonely? no, how can I be lonely when you are always in my thoughts. I wake up with you and go to sleep with you. I love you!!
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i need to ask you something and i want you to be totally honest with me, it might be awkward between us after this but i have to know how you feel i have kept it in for a while now but i think it's finally time i be straight up and just confront you .... i hope this doesn't ruin our relationship we already have. i just need to know and i don't see any other way i could get over this. just doesn't seem fair on me if i don't get an answer. i want you to tell me truthfully, no matter how harsh it is. just want your honest opinion .... would you say a jaffa cake is a biscuit ?xx
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If I could pull down the rainbow I would write ur name with it & put it back in the sky to let everybody know how colorful my life is with a friend like u!!
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We will now upgrade your brain, please wait....Searching....searching...still searching....sorry,NO BRAIN found...!
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Why is a false eye made of glass?.....To look through.
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Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time - I think I've forgotten this before.
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More Sms Messages:


i got thrown out of mcdonalds this morning- the girl was an absolute stunner and she askked me if she could make it large for 30p? i replied that she already had but could she wank me off for an extra 1? ;)

IF u erase this msg it means u LUV me, if u keep it u WANT me, if u simply ignore it, u really ADORE me! so, what r u going to do?

She's angrier than a Bear with a sore head

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

How does the driver of a gritting vehicle go to work in the morning ?

What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!

When I die I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not like the passengers in his car!

You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you

Y MEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)dey r useless until u turn dem on 2)dey have lots of data but r still clueless 3)as soon as u pick 1 a better model cums on the market!