Funny Texts | 10 Sms Messages

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

Have a nice day. . . somewhere else

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet and so am i

Confucious say Put rooster in freezer to get a stiff cock.

I could fill a 1000 pages telling U how I feel, and still U would not understand.. So now I leave w/o a sound, except my heart shattering as it hits the ground.

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Ivor. Ivor who? Ivor sore hand from knocking so much.

I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful color, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!

You may not be too hard on my secretaries. They are sweet and understanding when I arrive at the office after having a tough day at home.

I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?

Smile a while, & when U smile, smile another smile & soon there will b miles & miles of smile bcoz you smiled. i wish your day is full of SMILE

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More Sms Messages:


He's got a head balder than a baby's arse.


He's that useless he couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery



Please turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry 370HSSV 0773H


A man was looking at a painting 4 a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing & he answered - waitng 4 autumn.


Hens cmwai dwehigfy bfyeqgfi hyretq hyr hfeyeh rywsyy


Last nite i sent an angel 2 guard u but d angel came back telin me dat angels don't guard demselves y didn't u tell me u were an angel?


roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????


Why is a woman 20.000 $ worth and a man only 2$? A woman has a milk factory, a mussel farm and a sawmill; a man a sausage, 2 bitter balls and a little pot of mayonnaise


Every message is a smile ... every word is like a kiss but when you touch me ...remember this ... my life is full with happiness





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!
People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.
Upgrade your weekend: Take Monday Off...