Funny Texts | 10 Sms Messages

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I had a ploughman's lunch T oTr day. He wasn't V happy.


Whats the best thing about babies? MAKING EM!


Theres a warmth in my heart. It haunts me when you're gone. Mend me to your side and never let go. The more I live The more I know, what's simple is true, I love you.


The fact that there are 'intelligent' extraterrestrial creatures is proven by the fact that they did not contact us yet.


I asked God for a Flower, He gave me a garden I asked for a tree He gave me a forest, I asked for a river He gave me an ocean, I asked for an angel He gave me you


Tre wr 2 cows in a field - Daisy & MaBl. D: 'I've bn artificially insemin


You can close your eyes for certain facts, but not for the memories.


What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant


This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!


It is better to be fair than to be popular!


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More Sms Messages:


Only the open heart receives LOVE Only the open mind receives WISDOM Only the open hand receives GIFTS and... Only the CUTE 1's receive MESSAGES From ME!


Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.


Don`t drink water, because fish fuck in it!


A: Because she threw out all the bent ones.


Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?


Wat u see as truth wat u see as lies remember that true friendship never dies although we may change & drift apart, ill always value u deep within my heart!


Why is a woman 20.000 $ worth and a man only 2$? A woman has a milk factory, a mussel farm and a sawmill; a man a sausage, 2 bitter balls and a little pot of mayonnaise


Mind intentionally left blank...


Secrets, they only last long enough to break you down






One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I had to do it only three times a week. This every-day thing is overkill.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Love is like a machine... sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.