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I had a ploughman's lunch T oTr day. He wasn't V happy.

Whats the best thing about babies? MAKING EM!

Theres a warmth in my heart. It haunts me when you're gone. Mend me to your side and never let go. The more I live The more I know, what's simple is true, I love you.

The fact that there are 'intelligent' extraterrestrial creatures is proven by the fact that they did not contact us yet.

Tre wr 2 cows in a field - Daisy & MaBl. D: 'I've bn artificially insemin

I asked God for a Flower, He gave me a garden I asked for a tree He gave me a forest, I asked for a river He gave me an ocean, I asked for an angel He gave me you

You can close your eyes for certain facts, but not for the memories.

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!

It is better to be fair than to be popular!

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More Sms Messages:


Aiming to remain good sports, we park as close as possible near the sports centre


Never miss a good chance to shut up


Knock! Knock! Who's There? A midget who cant reach the doorbell.


KeEping a FRIEND is As Difficult AS losing one. U sacrifice A lot To keep them. I may not have sacrificed enuf 4 u... but in my HEART I swear I'm keeping U..


If you are mad at me, you might just as well give me all my kisses back !


Roses are red violets are blue i need to kill you


What is the diff between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of u & torture is thinking of u 2 much.


What's the difference between Bigfoot and intelligent men? Big foot has been spotted a few times


If you was born poor is not your fault but if you die poor is your fault.


i got thrown out of mcdonalds this morning- the girl was an absolute stunner and she askked me if she could make it large for 30p? i replied that she already had but could she wank me off for an extra 1? ;)



One-Liner Top 5:

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

The value of money in a relationship: the 10 bucks that the wife and the tax inspection don't know about are worth more than the 100 that both know about.

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.

What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!




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