Funny Insults * 10 Funny Insults

If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move?

"A hyena that wrote poetry in tombs." - Friedrich Nietzsche on Dante

They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.

If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

It is such a shame to ruin such beautiful blonde hair by dying your roots black.

Hey, act your age -- senile!

Now she's at rest and so am I"- John Dryden on his wife

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

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More Funny Insults:


"It is only too easy to catch people's attention by doing something worse than anyone else has dared to do it before." - Charivari on Claude Monet


Look through your towels and tell us the name of the hotel you stayed at in Detroit.


If you were a swine, you would be what you are now!


"She was good at being inarticulately abstracted for the same reason that midgets are good at being short." - Clive James also talking about Marilyn Monroe


Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.


Is your name Laryngitis? You're a pain in the neck.


There is no vaccine against stupidity.


Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!


Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.


Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic.



One-Liner Top 5:

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

The value of money in a relationship: the 10 bucks that the wife and the tax inspection don't know about are worth more than the 100 that both know about.

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.

What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!




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