Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
Hello -- tall, dark and obnoxious!
You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are obnoxious and arrogant.
You are no longer beneath my contempt.
I hear you are an officer. Your rank is -- just plain rank!
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Have you considered suing your brains for nonsupport?
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
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More Funny Insults:


He named the street he owned after his wife. What a grand statement of his love for her; for she was cold, hard, cracked, and only gets plowed around the holidays.

Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!

I bet your mother has a loud bark!

Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid?

Ewwww! What stinks! Your nose is WAY too close to your bottom!

I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.

I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it yet.

Yo mama iz so FAT i used her as a trampline on ma birthday party

"She is closer to organized prostitution than anything else." - Former singer with the Smiths, Morrissey talking about Madonna

And there he was: reigning supreme at number two.