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Funny Insults

Hey! I know what sign you were born under! RED LIGHT DISTRICT!
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You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are obnoxious and arrogant.
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"Can't act. Slightly bald. Can dance a little." - Anonymous screen test about Fred Astaire
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Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
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Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
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Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
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"He emits an air of overwhelming vanity combined with some unspecific nastiness, like a black widow spider in heat. But nobody seems to notice. He could be reciting 'Fox's Book of Martyrs' in Finnish and these people would be rolling out of their seats." - Roger Gellert on John Cleese
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Yo momma's so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
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I hear you are an officer. Your rank is -- just plain rank!
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Yo momma's so fat all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Momma"
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More Funny Insults:


You just look like an offduty scare crow

I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

Someone said that you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.

I know one should judge a man by what he really is instead of by appearances, but you are REALLY ugly.

your moma is so uncordinated,she threw a rock at the ground and missed

Yo mama has a short arm and can't applaude.

Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.

Hey, act your age -- senile!

Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"

Do you want do die stupid?