Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

"Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper." - Rex Reed talking about Marlon Brando
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I can't talk to you right now; tell me, where will you be in ten years?
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I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there.
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Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
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You're so old you drove a chariot to school.
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The next time you shave, could you stand a little closer to the razor?
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Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
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"Brassy, brazen witch on a mortgaged broomstick, a steamroller with cleats." - Walter Kerr on Ethel Merman
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I cant tell the difference between your face and a kiwi
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you only have to brain cells 1z lost the others looking for it
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More Funny Insults:


I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?

Yo mama so old her verbosity is exceeded only by your stupidity

Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.

I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.

blud u are so fat that u cant even do sit ups and plus when you do them u do farts. btw ur a fatso fatso

a blonde walks into a hardware store and says" could i buy that microwave" and the shop keeper says " sorry don't serve blodes" so the next day she dies her hair green and comes back and says "could i buy that microwave please" and the shop keeper says " sorry don't serve blodes" so she walk out and comes back the next day with a fake tan and pink hair and says "can i buy that microwave please" and the shop keeper says " sorry I DON'T SERVE BLONDES" and then she says "I'M NOT BLONDE YOU IDIOT I HAVE PINK HAIR DAH!" then the shop keeper says "yes you are because that isn't a microwave it's a television." "oh well can i have that cd player" "It's a television and i don't serve blondes." so she walks out and then says " well see ya, be back for my meat shopping." "this girl is a ditsy blonde." Butterflygrl

His suitcase doesn't have a handle.

Would you like some cheese and crackers to go with that whine?

Yo momma's so stupid when she heard 90% of all accidents occur around the home, she moved.