Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

Your conversation is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick!


The next time you shave, could you stand a little closer to the razor?


You are so boring that you can't even entertain a doubt.


We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, "Do not come home and all will be forgiven."


We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.


He's so fat, he has the only car in town with stretch marks.


your momma so ugly she need plastic surgery to walk in wal-mart


When you came out of your mother's body the first thing she said was put it back!!


"He has turned almost alarmingly blond - he's gone past platinum, he must be plutonium; his hair is coordinated with his teeth." - Pauline Kael talking about Robert Redford


"He's nothing more than a well meaning baboon"- General McCellan on Abraham Lincoln


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More Funny Insults:


Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out


Whatever is eating you - must be suffering horribly.


a husband ran down stairs on Christmas eve after hearing a noise. He catches his wife having sex with Santa and his wife says hes only delivering a parcel.


Yo mama so dark she spits chocolate milk!


Yo momma's so fat I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.


Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're nothing!


"My wife asked what it would take to make her look good I said "About a mile" "- Anon


Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.


Well, I'll see you in my dreams - if I eat too much.


Has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig.





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I had to do it only three times a week. This every-day thing is overkill.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Love is like a machine... sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.