Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

He's so dense that light bends around him.

Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon.

They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.

All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?

Yo momma's so fat all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Momma"

He doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt. --From "Steel Magnolias"

Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

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More Funny Insults:


Moonlight becomes you - total darkness even more!


Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!


I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.


Whatever is eating you -- must be suffering horribly.


Yo mama has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.


"I don't want you to turn the other cheek - it's just as ugly."- Anon


Yo momma's so fat Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.


I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.


If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.


yo mama so fat when she turns around its her birthday!!! :)





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No, those pants don't make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!