Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

Yo momma's so fat they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

You're so fat, when you wear a yellow rain coat people scream ''taxi''.

You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.

Instead of being born again, why don't you just grow up?

His brain waves fall a little short of the beach.

"He has turned almost alarmingly blond - he's gone past platinum, he must be plutonium; his hair is coordinated with his teeth." - Pauline Kael talking about Robert Redford

Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!

For two cents I'd give you a piece of my mind - and all of yours.

"He's nothing more than a well meaning baboon"- General McCellan on Abraham Lincoln

Someone said you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for you and said, 'oh yes she is.'

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More Funny Insults:


Yo mama so short she does backflips under the bed.


Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!


His origins are so low, you'd have to limbo under his family tree.


"To live in Australia permanently is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with your mother"- Barry Humphries


I'd like to give you a going-away present ... but you have to do your part.


You remind me of the ocean -- you make me sick.


I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass. (Thanks, llaje)


People say that you are outspoken but not by anyone that I know of.


I would like the pleasure of your company but it only gives me displeasure.


Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!
People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.