Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

Yo mama house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.

No one should be punished for accident of birth, but you look too much like a wreck not to be.

"She has discovered the secret of perpetual middle age."- Oscar Levant talking about Zsa Zsa Gabor

Your momma is so fat that everytime she goes whale watching one comes up and sings "We are family, even though your fatter then me"

He named the street he owned after his wife. What a grand statement of his love for her; for she was cold, hard, cracked, and only gets plowed around the holidays.

You're so ugly you almost look like your mother.

Slit your wrists - it will lower your blood pressure.

"Each section of the British Isles has it's own way of laughing, except the Wales, which doesn't"- Stephen Leacock

That's a very meaty question and I'd like to give it a very meaty answer -baloney!

I hear you are a real humanitarian. You have kept three or four detectives working regularly.

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More Funny Insults:


"A fellow with the inventiveness of Albert Einstein but with the attention span of Daffy Duck."- Tom Shales talking about Robin Williams


You are so boring that you can't even entertain a doubt.


Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out


If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.


game hopper beautiful


You are down to earth, but not quite far down enough.


When you die, you should have your brain donated to science. I hear they're trying to come up with the perfect vacuum.


She was another one of his near Mrs.


Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.


with a face like yours i would rather be blind





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!
People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.