Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

If I were as ugly as you are, I wouldn't say hello, I'd say boo!

Some folks are so dumb, they have to be watered twice a week.

You are no longer beneath my contempt.

They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.

"He's a male chauvinistic piglet." - Betty Friedan talking about Groucho Marx

you so dang ugly that your mother had mornin sickness after birth

That's a very meaty question and I'd like to give it a very meaty answer -baloney!

If you don't want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately.

Someone took a photo of you once but it didn't turn out. You could be seen too clearly.

I heard you went to have your head examined, but the doctors found nothing there.

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More Funny Insults:


Yo mama has a short leg and walks in circles.


Your mama so fat when she wen't to the beach all the whales where singing we are family even now your fater then me.Sierra Lanham


Is your name Laryngitis? You're a pain in the neck.


You are so dishonest that I can't even be sure that what you tell me are lies!


Yo momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!


Yo momma's so stupid she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."


I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.


Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.


Yo mama gums are so black she spits Yoo-hoo.


Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.
Try an internship! Internships give you all the experience of a summer job without the hassle of a paycheck.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Hey baby, wanna violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle with me?