Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to wind it up this morning.


Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.


your mums so fat she stood on the scales and it said i asked for ur weight not ur fone number


Yo momma's so fat when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.


You have nothing to fear from my base instincts; its my finer ones that tell me to kill you.


Please breathe the other way. You're bleaching my hair.


Yo momma's so fat Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.


yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside she ran out with a spoon. dominic zhang


In the dictionary under the word, "stupid," it says, "see him."


your mum is so lazy she would get first prize for the laziest person competition


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 (136) 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147

More Funny Insults:


Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you've got a palm.


There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.


Nice hair! Did you buy them or borrow them?


If I were as ugly as you are, I wouldn't say hello, I'd say boo!


He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.


You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.


I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.


Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras


The wheel is still spinning but the hamster died.


I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I had to do it only three times a week. This every-day thing is overkill.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Love is like a machine... sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.