Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

Well, I'll see you in my dreams - if I eat too much.

You're so ugly you have to trick or treat over the phone.

"A triumph of the embalmers art"- Gore Vidal on Ronald Reagan

They said you were a great asset. I told them they were off by two letters.

I'd like to leave you with one thought ... but I'm not sure you have a place to put it!

Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.

I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused by childhood trauma; your parents spanked you when you fell on your head and broke the cement.

I certainly hope you are sterile.

If manure were music, you'd be a brass band.

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More Funny Insults:


I feel sorry for you because you are so homely, but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.


yo so stupid that you canot self employe your self


I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused by childhood trauma; your parents spanked you when you fell on your head and broke the cement.


You're so fat you use hoola-hoops to keep your socks up.


She could eat a watermelon through a picket fence!


Grasp your ears firmly and remove your head from your ass.


Some day you will find yourself -- and wish that you hadn't.


Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"


Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.


Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!




One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No, those pants don't make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!