Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's invulnerable.

When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.

I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.

"I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along." - Groucho Marx

If I promise to miss you, will you go away?

You're acquitting yourself in such a way that no jury ever would.

If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

You are pretty as a picture and we'd love to hang you.

If I were as ugly as you are, I wouldn't say hello, I'd say boo!

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More Funny Insults:


Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.


Yo momma's so fat she say's one by one down the esculators.


You're so ugly you almost look like your mother.


your so fat when you went on a waying scale your phone number came up


If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself!


you mamas so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck


You could throw her in the river and skim ugly for two days.


I hear you are very kind to animals so please give that face back to the gorilla.


Your mama just so ugly..


Someday you'll go far, if you catch the right train.





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Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.
Try an internship! Internships give you all the experience of a summer job without the hassle of a paycheck.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Hey baby, wanna violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle with me?