Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

"My wife asked what it would take to make her look good I said "About a mile" "- Anon

"The great thing about Glasgow now is that if there is a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards"- Billy Connolly

If brains were rain, you`d be a desert.

If I want any shit outta you I'll squeeze your head.

yo mama so dum that she had a spanish voice lock sytem instald in her home. she went to a english made atm machine. And when she came home she fogot how to speak spanish.

FUCK!

Yo mama has a short arm and can't applaude.

You will never be able to live down to your reputation!

Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!

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More Funny Insults:


"The enviably attractive nephew who sings an Irish ballad for the company and then winsomely disappears before the table clearing and dishwashing begin." - Lyndon B. Johnson on JFK


I saw your mama at the freak show petting the world's largest turtle.


Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck


I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?


yo mamma so fat, is she wore a yellow jacket in new york, everyone would be shouting "TAXI!"


At your speed, you'd better not stop your mouth too fast or your teeth will fly through your cranium.


u ar so stupid 2 d entent of mistaken a house 2 a hom


Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?


Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.


If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!




One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No, those pants don't make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?
Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!