Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

He is so conceited his eyes behold each other perfectly.

Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was.

He smells the coffee, but can't find the pot / a cup.

You are no longer beneath my contempt.

They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.

They say truth is stranger than fiction. Look, your mother gave birth to you.

Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.

Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye.

with a face like yours i would rather be blind

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More Funny Insults:


yo mama so fat when yo dad proposed to her he used onion rings


Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"


The thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much as I loathe you.


You're so old you drove a chariot to school.



Yo momma's so stupid she ordered her sushi well done.


You have a lot of well-wishers. They would all like to throw you down one.


A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.


Yo momma's so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.


Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No, those pants don't make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!