Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

I'd like to leave you with one thought ... but I'm not sure you have a place to put it!


You are a man who always sticks by his convictions. You will remain a fool no matter how much you get ridiculed for it!


Yo mama so fat when she put's on her yellow raincot people shout at her "school bus"


"A hyena that wrote poetry in tombs." - Friedrich Nietzsche on Dante


Your teeth are like stars - they come out at night.


Do you hate your teen life? Do you hate your pimples and blackheads on your face and breast? You look like faaat pig with ugly hands and greasy hair? And you need a boyfriend??? Well… You shouldn’t use Maxfactor… You better die!


"I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was - an Arctic region covered with ice." - Steve Martin


I'm very careful of how I express my opinions of you because I want to put as much vituperation in them as possible.


ya dad is so supid that he studied a piece of cheese thinking its the moon !


Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 (19) 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147

More Funny Insults:


If you had another brain like the one you've got, you'd still be a half-wit.


"The stupid person's idea of a clever person." - Elizabeth Bowen talking about Aldous Huxley


You're acquitting yourself in such a way that no jury ever would.


Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!


He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.


I bet your mother has a loud bark!


The thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much as I loathe you.


You remind me of the ocean -- you make me sick.


He doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt. --From "Steel Magnolias"


"He's a great singer - but he's not the most masculine guy, is he?" - Alexander O'Neal on Michael Jackson





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I had to do it only three times a week. This every-day thing is overkill.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Love is like a machine... sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.