Funny Insults * 10 Funny Insults

They say space is a dangerous place . . . especially if it's between your ears!

A dope you are and dope will remain

I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

You have a face only a mother could love -- and she hates it!

Don't you need a license to be that ugly?

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

The wheel is still spinning but the hamster died.

"Like a death at a birthday party, you ruin all the fun... Like a sucked and spat out smartie, you're no use to anyone."- John Cooper Clarke

Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

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More Funny Insults:


Are your parents siblings?


"A hyena that wrote poetry in tombs." - Friedrich Nietzsche on Dante


Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.


Thinking isn't your strong suit, is it? --from "Lost In Space"


You were born because your mother didn't believe in abortion; now she believes in infanticide.


Don't you need a license to be that ugly?


We know you could not live without us. We'll pay for the funeral.


Do you hate your teen life? Do you hate your pimples and blackheads on your face and breast? You look like faaat pig with ugly hands and greasy hair? And you need a boyfriend??? Well… You shouldn’t use Maxfactor… You better die!


a blonde walks into a hardware store and says" could i buy that microwave" and the shop keeper says " sorry don't serve blodes" so the next day she dies her hair green and comes back and says "could i buy that microwave please" and the shop keeper says " sorry don't serve blodes" so she walk out and comes back the next day with a fake tan and pink hair and says "can i buy that microwave please" and the shop keeper says " sorry I DON'T SERVE BLONDES" and then she says "I'M NOT BLONDE YOU IDIOT I HAVE PINK HAIR DAH!" then the shop keeper says "yes you are because that isn't a microwave it's a television." "oh well can i have that cd player" "It's a television and i don't serve blondes." so she walks out and then says " well see ya, be back for my meat shopping." "this girl is a ditsy blonde." Butterflygrl


Yo momma's so fat instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.



One-Liner Top 5:

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

The value of money in a relationship: the 10 bucks that the wife and the tax inspection don't know about are worth more than the 100 that both know about.

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.

Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!

What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.




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