Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

We know you could not live without us. We'll pay for the funeral.

Make a mental note . . . oh, I see you're out of paper!

I'd like to give you a going-away present ... but you have to do your part.

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

You're so low you could milk a pregnant snake!

Yo mama nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat!

I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?

You were born because your mother didn't believe in abortion; now she believes in infanticide.

Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 (30) 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147

More Funny Insults:


Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.


Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"


You're so ugly, you had tinted windows on your incubator.


Too bad stupidity isn't painful.


Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you've got a palm.


you are fat


Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.


Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras


Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets


"Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today" - Anon.





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No, those pants don't make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!