Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

Yo momma's so fat when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.

Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

It cost me five thousand dollars to look up your family history. A thousand to look it up and four thousand to hush it up.

Yo momma's so old, she has a kickstart vibrator

YO MAMA SO FAT WHEN SHE WALKED PAST A T.V I MISSED THE WHOLE ONE HOUR SPECIAL

You say that you are always bright and early. Well OK, we know you are early.

"Spielberg isn't a filmmaker, he's a confectioner." - Alex Cox on Steven Spielberg

He comes from a long line of real estate people -- they're a vacant lot.

Susan Boyle has a photo shoot tomorrow for her new album Simon cowell wishes to improve her image by surrounding her with proper ugly bastards. the bus will pick u up at nine, try not to miss it there a tenner in it for you.

Your dicks so small you piss on your nuts.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 (47) 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147

More Funny Insults:


She's so ugly they used to put a pot roast in her lap so the dog would play with her.


Would you like some cheese and crackers to go with that whine?


"If he became convinced tomorrow that coming out for cannibalism would get him the votes he surely needs, he would begin fattening a missionary in the White House backyard come Wednesday." - H. L. Mencken talking about Franklin D. Roosevelt


I feel sorry for you because you are so homely but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.


Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot.


Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.


The going got weird and he turned pro.


You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.


She's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border.


"She has discovered the secret of perpetual middle age."- Oscar Levant talking about Zsa Zsa Gabor





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.
Try an internship! Internships give you all the experience of a summer job without the hassle of a paycheck.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Hey baby, wanna violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle with me?