Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

Hey, I remember you when you had only one stomach.

A demitasse would fit his head like a sombrero.

There are only two things I dislike about her - her face.

Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

You say that you are always bright and early. Well OK, we know you are early.

I wonder how many angels could dance on his head?

"Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?" - Don Rickles

"What makes him think a middle aged actor, who's played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?" - Ronald Reagan commenting on Eastwood's bid to become mayor of Carmel

Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 (48) 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147

More Funny Insults:


Yo momma's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she auditioned for Star Wars.


your momma so ugly she need plastic surgery to walk in wal-mart


I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper?


If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents.


Alone: In bad company.


Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"


If your brain were chocolate, it wouldn't fill an M&M


Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.


Yo mama has a short leg and walks in circles.


Yo momma's so stupid she bought a solar powered flashlight.




One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No, those pants don't make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!