Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

"Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?" - Don Rickles

"Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today" - Anon.

Someday you'll go far, if you catch the right train.

I hear you pick your friends -- to pieces!!

the best part of you ran down your mother's leg.

Yours is a prima facie case of ugliness. And your body is ugly too.

"Is he just doing a bad Elvis pout, or was he born that way?" - Freddie Mercury on Billy Idol

You make me feel intelligent. Especially when you talk.

yo mama so dum that she had a spanish voice lock sytem instald in her home. she went to a english made atm machine. And when she came home she fogot how to speak spanish.

And there he was: reigning supreme at number two.

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More Funny Insults:


Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."


Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.


After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest.


a blonde walks into a hardware store and says" could i buy that microwave" and the shop keeper says " sorry don't serve blodes" so the next day she dies her hair green and comes back and says "could i buy that microwave please" and the shop keeper says " sorry don't serve blodes" so she walk out and comes back the next day with a fake tan and pink hair and says "can i buy that microwave please" and the shop keeper says " sorry I DON'T SERVE BLONDES" and then she says "I'M NOT BLONDE YOU IDIOT I HAVE PINK HAIR DAH!" then the shop keeper says "yes you are because that isn't a microwave it's a television." "oh well can i have that cd player" "It's a television and i don't serve blondes." so she walks out and then says " well see ya, be back for my meat shopping." "this girl is a ditsy blonde." Butterflygrl


Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.


the best part of you ran down your mother's leg.


i dont make trash. i dump it.!


Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!


Hey, how come even though you are still alive your parents are in mourning for you?


His suitcase doesn't have a handle.





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.
Try an internship! Internships give you all the experience of a summer job without the hassle of a paycheck.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Hey baby, wanna violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle with me?