Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

"An empty suit that goes to funerals and plays golf." - Ross Perot talking about Dan Quayle

"Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress." - Joan Rivers

I heard you have hair on your chest, and that`s not your only resemblance to Rin Tin Tin.

Completely unlike cocaine

Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

You're so ugly you have to trick or treat over the phone.

People can't say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!

yo mama so fat when she got on the bus she fell right through

you mamas so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck

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More Funny Insults:


You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.


I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.


"The enviably attractive nephew who sings an Irish ballad for the company and then winsomely disappears before the table clearing and dishwashing begin." - Lyndon B. Johnson on JFK


"She tells enough white lies to ice a cake" - Dorothy Parker


Eveeryone has the right to be ugly, but, you my friend are abusing the priviledge


Yo momma's so stupid she sold the car for gas money.


Now she's at rest and so am I"- John Dryden on his wife


Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.


Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?


"He emits an air of overwhelming vanity combined with some unspecific nastiness, like a black widow spider in heat. But nobody seems to notice. He could be reciting 'Fox's Book of Martyrs' in Finnish and these people would be rolling out of their seats." - Roger Gellert on John Cleese





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.
Try an internship! Internships give you all the experience of a summer job without the hassle of a paycheck.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Hey baby, wanna violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle with me?