Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

You're so fat you laid down in the ocean and Spain claimed you as the New World.

"She was good at being inarticulately abstracted for the same reason that midgets are good at being short." - Clive James also talking about Marilyn Monroe

If you had another brain like the one you've got, you'd still be a half-wit.

You add to, not diminish, pain!

"She is closer to organized prostitution than anything else." - Former singer with the Smiths, Morrissey talking about Madonna

Yo momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.

Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.

I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?

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More Funny Insults:


Hey, I remember you when you had only one stomach.


Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!


You always manage to keep your neck above water. We can tell by the color of it.


"Can't act. Slightly bald. Can dance a little." - Anonymous screen test about Fred Astaire


Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!


Yo mama twice the man you are.


You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light.


You've Been Banged More Times Than A ketchup Bottle


you mamas so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck


Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I'll arrange it with the undertaker.





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No, those pants don't make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!