Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

"What makes him think a middle aged actor, who's played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?" - Ronald Reagan commenting on Eastwood's bid to become mayor of Carmel

When you were born, God admitted that even He could make a mistake!

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"

I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?

Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. I told him not to act like a fool.

All of your girlfriends kiss you with their eyes closed. Considering your face, that's the only way they could.

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

I just seen your mum kickin two cans up the road.I asked her what she was doing,she said,"moving house".

Yo momma's so stupid, she plays nintendo without any batery's!

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More Funny Insults:


You're so ugly, when you walk into taco bell, EVERYONE runs for the border!


Instead of being born again, why don't you just grow up?


You just look like an offduty scare crow


Please breathe the other way. You're bleaching my hair.


"He emits an air of overwhelming vanity combined with some unspecific nastiness, like a black widow spider in heat. But nobody seems to notice. He could be reciting 'Fox's Book of Martyrs' in Finnish and these people would be rolling out of their seats." - Roger Gellert on John Cleese


Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you be yourself.


Yo momma's so fat when she goes to a restaurant she gets and estimate


Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.


Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.


They said you were a great asset. I told them they were off by two letters.





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.
Try an internship! Internships give you all the experience of a summer job without the hassle of a paycheck.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Hey baby, wanna violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle with me?