Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people - you are obnoxious in a different and worse way!

Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

You're so fat you laid down in the ocean and Spain claimed you as the New World.

You have no trouble making ends meet. Your foot is always in your mouth!

were you born on the motorway because that's where most accidents happen

You are so dumb you sit on the TV and watch the sofa.

I can tie a coffee bean to my butt and swim across the Columbia River and make a darker stain than that (about weak coffee.)

He does the work of three men: Moe, Larry, and Curly.

Eventually, you will get what you asked for.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

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More Funny Insults:


He's so fat, he has the only car in town with stretch marks.


He doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt. --From "Steel Magnolias"


He is living proof that man can live without a brain!


For two cents I'd give you a piece of my mind - and all of yours.


Yo momma's so stupid she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.


Yo mama so short she can play handball on the curb.


Your momma so stupid she thought she was gay


She's so ugly they used to put a pot roast in her lap so the dog would play with her.


Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.


Yo mama has a short arm and can't applaude.





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!
People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.