Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people - you are obnoxious in a different and worse way!

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.

I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.

Nice to see you on your feet. Who sent the derrick?

Yo Mommas glasses so thick she can see in the futer -Sammy

Yo momma's so fat she say's one by one down the esculators.

Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was.

I'm blonde, what's your excuse?

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More Funny Insults:


I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!


Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.


He is living proof that man can live without a brain!


Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday!


Yo mama so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.


I hear you are connected to the Police Department -- by a pair of handcuffs.


Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!


Better at sex than anyone, now all he needs is a partner.


When you die, you should have your brain donated to science. I hear they're trying to come up with the perfect vacuum.


a blonde walks into a hardware store and says" could i buy that microwave" and the shop keeper says " sorry don't serve blodes" so the next day she dies her hair green and comes back and says "could i buy that microwave please" and the shop keeper says " sorry don't serve blodes" so she walk out and comes back the next day with a fake tan and pink hair and says "can i buy that microwave please" and the shop keeper says " sorry I DON'T SERVE BLONDES" and then she says "I'M NOT BLONDE YOU IDIOT I HAVE PINK HAIR DAH!" then the shop keeper says "yes you are because that isn't a microwave it's a television." "oh well can i have that cd player" "It's a television and i don't serve blondes." so she walks out and then says " well see ya, be back for my meat shopping." "this girl is a ditsy blonde." Butterflygrl





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!
People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.