Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.

Yo mama has a glass eye with a fish in it.

Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.

Is your name Laryngitis? You're a pain in the neck.

"America is the only nation in history which has miraculously gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilisation"- Georges Clemenceau

I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.

Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without your working so hard to give us another?

People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright.

I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

Yo momma's so fat she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

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More Funny Insults:


Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!


Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise


Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.


She could eat a watermelon through a picket fence!


Your momma so stupid she thought she was gay


If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, I'm glad.


I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.


that woman feet is so dirty her shoes is made by glad


When you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.


"He always finds himself lost in thought - it's an unfamiliar territory" - Anon.





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!
People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.