Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

"Can't act. Slightly bald. Can dance a little." - Anonymous screen test about Fred Astaire

Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.

Yo momma's so fat when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

Do you want me to accept you as you are or do you want me to like you?

You are so fat that I hear you were arrested three times for jay-walking when all the time you were just standing on the corner waiting for the light to change.

Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!

"Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible"- Margaret Mead

The next time you shave, could you stand a little closer to the razor?

Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life

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More Funny Insults:


Someone took a photo of you once, but it didn't turn out. You could be seen too clearly.


these arent disses these r jokes


I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!


your mama so ugly that i cant explain hwo ugly she is


I hear you are an officer. Your rank is -- just plain rank!


Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.


Yo momma's so ugly she made an onion cry.


Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?


You grow on people - like a wart!


Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them.





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No, those pants don't make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!